Split Screen
Me: Nobody ever told me to cross my legs. How am I supposed to be a lady?
The Other: No they definitely did.
(continue to alternate)
What? When?
In 4th grade. Sister Mary Ellen pulled all the girls into the flex room. Remember? She told us it was important to start tucking one foot behind the other ankle.
I don’t remember any of that.
Well it’s probably because you weren’t listening.
I find that offensive!
But it’s true.
I know. I’m just saying I was offended.
You have a problem following through with things.
Like what?
Like this idea.
Okay.
Like this story.
Okay.
Where was this even going to go?
I don’t know, I don’t remember.
See, you weren’t even listening to yourself.
Are you kidding??? I can’t stop listening to myself I listen to myself all fucking day I wish I could stop listening to my fucking self it’s just on on on on on on on on on on
Left right up down A lot of ups and downs too much dopamine no too much serotonin that’s what exhaustion smells like
…but you haven’t done anything today though.
Oh MY GOD WHY are you being so rude????? You are the rudest person I have ever met???
Why is everything in extremes with you?
Because. Because I keep my legs open and eat in my bed and fuck on the first date and don’t take off my make up and sleep with my hands in my pants and shovel food in my mouth like I’ll never see it again and play music so loud in my ears that I can’t hear as well anymore and brush my teeth so hard my gums are peeling back like a horse and sweat so much you think I’d have a condition a problem 99 problems 99,000 problems
Do you ever get tired of that?
What, of me? Tired of myself?
No. Of me.
Yes.
I thought so. I just wanted to hear you say it.
Like cigarettes and espresso, we are perfect.
Those will kill you, you know.
Everything in moderation.
Murder in moderation?
Natural selection.
Ugh. Ew. Fuck off.